Wild and Powerful Blue: Fight the Current, or Ride the Wave

 

By: Amanda Buffington  |  @talesofapottingtable

In an instant you realize you’ve underestimated the warnings, the flags at the stand…the morning news. You’ve been swept out to Sea…property of the Big Blue. You know what to do, yet you’re not prepared. Your heart begins to pump wildly, your veins blue and throbbing — then it happens…the largest wave you’ve ever seen is about to swallow you whole. Do you scream? Do you grab air from the vast blue sky before meeting the depths you’ve come to fear?

You're pushed farther into the belly of the Blue, further than you’ve ever been or wanted to be - alone. You're tossed and turned, up becomes down and down becomes up. The only orientation provided by the glimmers of sunlight lighting up the gradient deep. Your veins pulse slower, your vision drifts…and you begin to see yourself; your life. The touch of your baby’s skin on yours for the first time, the day you realized you’d met your soulmate… the day you heard the word, she’d gone- pain you thought would never end. Scents of lilac and waffle cones, your favorite Simon and Garfunkel song play in harmony with the roars underneath, in the belly of, the wild and powerful Blue. 

A decision needs to be made… do you stay, do you open and silence your voice forever by filling your lungs with the deepest blue depths of that powerful force or do you fight to reach the light and find glimpses of shore? For some of us, especially those of us driven by the power to create…the essence of a Riptide sums up our inward and outward motion. There are warnings on every beach, on the news…in the phases of the moon and yet so many of us get swept away. 

It isn’t until we’re in the depths of blue that we find the strength to swim towards the sky and fight the easiest of fates to relinquish your essence into the depths. What happens down there is something between you and the Blue. It’s something you needn’t share…but many do. When you finally find the strength, perhaps loaded by a memory, or hope that shore holds everything that makes life the most wonderful ride… you begin to push, to fight.

Up you go towards the light, the sun and the sky grant you a moment of clarity. Another wave, it’s above you and soon it will force you down yet again…you know what’s down there now, you’ve seen the surface - the depths seem lighter. Up you go, again to the light and the wild air. Longer now, you're able to get your bearings. A sea breeze blows and reminds you of home; bare feet and cherry pits on the floor and you are not fighting anymore. You give in, you go with the flow. Releasing tension from toes to skull, you float, imagining yourself safe above the turbulent and churning aqua and you allow yourself the ability to rise above. 

The memories fill your eyes with tears, your heart with thanks and your veins restore their blue and calm cadence. You’re being returned…by the same Sea that took you captive, the second you decided not to fight, it slowly releases it’s reign. Just outside of the rip current the deep blue gradually becomes a delicate crystal glass window. You can see its stars, and striped sands gently swaying and glittering in the sun. You…can firmly plant your feet in the warm soft floor you struggled so deeply to find but minutes before. The uproar behind you, the shore and the rest of your life in front of you. You’ve learned to embrace it’s power, that fighting it surely means your end. Perhaps not your literal end, but the end of all the things that make you - you. The adoration of colour and movement…music and ambient lighting. The appreciation that comes from being thrust and pummeled by a force larger is one I wouldn’t trade. Each time I emerge I am granted a brilliant and dazzling new perspective on the magnificence of every little detail of life. 

How long Blue keeps you is entirely up to you. How dark it becomes depends on whether you choose to seek its depth or light. There is no perfect shade of blue, it’s baby blankets and bluebonnets… classic melodies, a singular word to define a mood, a palette as vast as it’s meaning. Blue is life, it’s air and water, deep and wide; and it is nothing to be afraid of.