Self-Love and The Intent To Rest


By: Tracy Mesina  |

Maintaining self care while balancing a passion and day job/regular life for me is a constant strife between the concepts of "have to" and "want to." I have to feel it in the marrow of my bones that Geologik is truly what I "want to" do, not something I "have to" do. I have to know in my heart that there is no outside pressure apart from my own desire and will to create and share my craft; to inspire and be inspired.  If I start to feel that my Geologik tasks for the week (or even for the day) are even resembling a "have to" more than a "want to" then I take that signal to mean that my soul and body are in need of some attention.  

One practice I apply almost on the daily is more or less the use of a decision tree. (You guessed it, my day job is in software.) The top node question of the tree is pretty much "does doing what you're going to do today bring you joy?" Then it branches down to the only two nodes of "yes" and "no." If my answer is "yes," then I continue on with my task(s) and I am a happy camper, crafting and doing with a skip in my step.  If my answer is "no," however, then I have to do some digging and be my own little P.I. into the psyche to try and find out what it is that my mind and soul need in order to turn that "no" into a "yes."  Sometimes the solution is as simple as taking a nap if I'm tired or watching one more episode of that show I really like (if I haven't already binged the whole season), but other times it takes a little more effort and introspection if the reason for the "no" is a creature that lives deeper in the depths of my mind cave.  Occasionally there is a "no" that persists so long that it turns into one of the infamous lulls and creative blocks that some don't like to talk about - because a life pursuing your passion is supposed to be all “sunshine and daisies”. Eventually you do find the rest and rejuvenation your soul needs, and you're back up and running like there wasn't ever a pause at all. 

A good friend once told me that when I need to take a step back because of another "no," I need to be resting and lounging around with intention.

"Intentionally lazy" he calls it. 

The intention, as I'm coming to learn, is one of the most crucial aspects of self care and self love.  Without the intention of regrouping and healing, we often mislabel our rest-days as being unproductive and with that comes a whole lot of guilt and self-loathing.  If we accept and understand that our mind and body need just as much attention and care as our designs, then we will love ourselves and be just as stoked resting and lounging, as we are when we create and collaborate. 

In the hustle of making moves and getting work done it's really easy to get carried away in the waves of progress and ignore the little signs and hints here and there that are telling us to take a moment to breathe, to reflect on our own mental as well as physical capacities and recognize that we really are accomplishing what we want to do.  With time and necessary little breaks here and there we can continue to love ourselves, love our mission, and love everyday that we do what we do.

For more of Tracy's journey: @geologik__  |